This is a question I wrestle with constantly! Can someone be too honest or is it possible to ALWAYS tell the truth even at someone else's expense? Funny how sometimes you can do 2 things at once that are completely unrelated and all of a sudden something happens that brings the 2 things together. Yesterday I was reading my Bible and in the background I was listening to a movie with Jim Carey called Liar Liar and the passage I was reading dealt with honesty and integrity at the same time the character was asking his son to take back his wish of not lying for a whole day in order for him to be able to lie because "he was a lawyer and that's what they do for a living" (direct quote not my opinion). So I started thinking can anyone go through life and never lie, embellish the truth, omit certain things or change the subject to avoid the question and my answer is " I don't think so!"
Work with me for second, the reason why I think we can't do it is because in some cases we either love the person too much or we just can't be bothered getting into an argument with certain people. Let me give you some examples: Your spouse comes up to you and asks (this one is for the guys) does this outfit make me look fat, (now one for the women) aren't I the best handyman you have ever seen? How about this one, wasn't that the best chick flick you have ever seen, dude does this leather jacket make me look tough (I added that last one just for fun). How about at work when your boss asks you to do something it gets done quickly and on time then your boss takes full credit for your idea when asked do you sink your boss CLM (career limiting move) or do you just bite the bullet smile and agree. This is what I'm talking about it's not the black and white type lies that I have issues with it's the grey area. I know lying is lying no matter what, but what do you do in those grey areas.
I usually lean towards the relationship side of the equation and the intention behind the action. "Does this outfit make me look fat, you know what dear I really love seeing you in the other outfit you wore last time, the color really brings out your eyes and you got a lot of compliments when you wore it." Avoiding the truth but saving the evening by not being brutally honest.
Give me your thoughts I promise to be brutally honest with you.
Marty
1 comment:
another interesting element is this. Does the person asking the question (i.e. does this dress make me look fat) want an honest answer? If not, why ask the question?
Our fear of saying the truth when an argument or feelings are at stake raises many more questions.
In those "grey areas", I'd say that the real issue is not the question itself or the hesitant answer but rather that which lies behind the question and behind the hesitant answer.
Just my two cents.
Good post.
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